Quotes of Life
by Crushed Hale.x
Summary: o06. "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?.. Like a coma." In which, Paul thought he was getting lucky with Bella.
1. The Light

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humour. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**Original Quote: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.**

**My Quote: That light at the end of the tunnel? Yeah, that means your _dead_.**

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Emmett glared, kicking rocks along the tunnels edge. "I just don't see why she's so pissed! I only painted our room yellow and purple. It didn't clash that bad!" He sighed to his friend.

Jasper ran a hand through his hair. "Troublesome.."

Emmett, unfazed by his friends lack of interest, continued his venting. "She can be such a.. a girl! You know, man? She's a tom boy at heart, she gets down and dirty, all the car oil and grease, and she freaks out over the color of our room!"

"Troublesome.."

"Note: OUR room! Don't I have a say in this?" Emmett continued, undeterred.

"You're saying alot-"

"I mean, it's totally unfair!" He cut off Jasper with his rants, kicking the poor unsuspecting stone into the wall of the tunnel. Creating an echo sound.

Jasper sighed, finally having enough of his friends bitching session.

"Look, Em. One day, if you look hard enough, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel." He wisely informed the bulkier man.

Emmett looked at him thankfully. He may have just had a massive bitching session, but he wasn't that girly to thank his friend. Pfft. Like that would happen.

A few moments of silence passed, Jasper smiled happily, thankful for the peace.

"Jasper!" Emmett pointed to the end of the tunnel, a goofy grin on his face. "I see the light at the end of the tunnel!"

Jasper followed the extended limb, eyes widening at this sight of bright lights.

"Fuck, that's not the light! It's a fucking train!" He yelled, Emmett's face fell.

"Oh, shit."


	2. Crazy Friends

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humour. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**Today's quote by Jen Whitlock Sohma Winchester 8491  
**

**Original Quote: We are all a little crazy but can't we still try to make friends.**

**My Quote: We're all a little crazy, but you, my friend, took it _too_ far.**

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"And then he was like this!" Bella laughed as Emmett placed his fingers inside his cheeks, pushing them out, flicking his tongue out and rolling his blue eyes in the back of his head.

"I bet, Em. I bet." She laughed again.

"No way, dude!" Jasper piped up from beside Bella, leaning over her to get closer to Emmett. "He was like this!" And slapped Emmett's cheeks a few times like an old lady would.

Growling, he pushed Jasper's hands away.

"See what your boyfriend does to me, Bells? He's such an ass hat." Crossing his arms over his chest, his lower lip jutting out a bit.

"You know, if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy." He continued, seemingly pulling a conversation out of no where.

"Where did that come from?" Rosalie asked as she entered the living room, sitting beside Emmett.

"All me, baby. Didn't you know your boyfriend was brains as well as brown?"

"It's brawn, you oaf." Bella corrected.

"I think I'm crazy," Emmett concluded after a few minutes of silence. "My neighbour said so.. She's always been a -"

"Would you like a second opinion?" Jasper piped up. A smile adorned Emmett's features as he nodded. "Okay, you're ugly too." The expression fell.

"Why you little.." As he got ready to pounce, Rosalie grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

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Silence. . . . . . .

"You know," Emmett started again. He just couldn't take the silence. "When I'm with you guys, I feel so happy. Like I'm peeing myself." He grinned, obviously not seeing the reaction of his three friends.

"Erm.. what?" Rose gritted her teeth, moving from her seat, next to Bella. She didn't want to get ..wet. She shivered at the thought.

"No, no! I mean, I mean, er.. Friendship!" He nodded his head to himself. "Yeah! It's like peeing yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.."

Rose threw a vase at him.

"Come on, Rosie! We're all a little crazy! Can't we still try to make friends?" He asked hopefully, pouting once again.

"Yes, we're all a little crazy, but you! You, my friend, took it too far." Jasper said, pulling Bella with him, successfully toppling over the couch.

"TIMBER!"


	3. Touching

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humour. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**This chapter contains a touch of humour at the end, and slight romance of Bella and Jasper.  
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**Original Quote: She touched my heart.**

**My Quote: "She touched my heart.." "You are so emotional." "No, she really touched my heart!".**

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Jasper stared at the petite form that seemed to be towering over him.

Bella, once little, human, no threat at all, Bella, stood leaning over him, hands on her hips and a glare fixed on her delicate features.

He had to admit, he always had some sort of lust held towards here, but he was with Alice. Paste-tense. That was called off when he met Bella.

_But then Eddie boy came in, and we all know what happened then, right?_ He thought sourly.

"Bella.." He whispered, feeling the tree's bark dig further into his back. She was furious, it made even him cower back in his sitting position.

Her eyes were blood red. The smirk on her pale lips was malicious.

"Hello, Jasper." Her voice was so calm, she looked so relaxed. Without a warning, she had leaned down to his height, kissed his forehead, and thrust a hand into his chest, fingers dancing on the partially deteriorated organ that was like a rock.

He gasped out in shock, but feeling no pain. All of her memories flashed through his head. Like she was allowing him to see everything from her point of view.

He saw himself attacking her, and her not blaming him at all.

He saw himself kissing her, and her not holding back at all.

He saw her violent change from human to vampire. and her accepting it into her stride.

The smirk was still there, though her features had softened. He looked at his chest, there was no mark, even his clothes were unscathed.

"How?" He looked up to her, only to discover she was gone. Staggering to his feet, he raced toward her scent, but there was none. "A dream?" He asked himself.

"What dream?" Another voice joined in the conversation. Gold eyes met gold. Rosalie. His adoptive sister.

"Bella, she.." He choked lightly on his words. "She was here." He could still hear her voice. Those two words. "She showed me," The memories flashing through his mind. "..She touched my heart." His hand went to hover over his untouched chest, as if to add emphasis.

Rose snickered, Jasper's furious gaze snapped to hers. "You are so emotional."

"No, she really touched my heart." He said seriously. "She was here, damn it! She touched my heart."

She snickered again. "Emotional goon."

"Damn it!" A growl.

"Goon." A laugh.

"Stop that!"


	4. You Think You Know

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humor. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**.NOTE: This is NOTGay bashing. I personally think love is love, no matter who you find it with. My secret dream I will share with you? I have always, ALWAYS wanted an emo gay best friend. Smexxy, totally cute. Any volunteers, please?**

**Original Quote: A friend is someone who knows all about you, and likes you anyway.**

**My Quote: "You think you know someone." **

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"_Oh_. Em. **Gee**! Spill it, Lee-lee!" Bella gushed excitedly as her childhood's best friend's current girlfriend sat in front of her. Confused much? Yes, long story short, Leah is Jake's girlfriend.

"It's not a good thing!" Leah cried dramatically, flailing her long tanned arms in the air.

Bella shook her head in a child-like way, rocking from her heels onto the balls of her feet. "It can't be _that_ bad." She grinned.

Leah stopped her dramatic arm-flailing. "Can't be that bad? Can't be that bad!"

"Lee, no one likes repetition." Bella added, still rocking on her feet.

"I found him with another boy!" Leah screeched. Bella's rocking abruptly halted, she lost her footing, landing on her petite ass. Apparently, Leah's yelling could literally knock a person off their own two feet.

Bella filed through every memory of Jacob Black. She had never known him to even act gay. He hated leather pants with a fashion, unless they were on a woman.

He didn't skip around or cross-dress.

Hell, he even avoided pink when it became popular and guys wore it.

"Are you sure, Lee?" Bella asked, the smaller girl still on the ground, now pulling her legs in front of her, she sat up in a very L like fashion, nibbling her thumb. Seeing the position, Leah remembered she had to record Death Note tonight to watch her beloved L again.

"I found him in the bushes!" She continued. Bella's eyes were now wide, she really thought she knew Jacob, they'd been friends since.. since, forever!

"They were smoking!"

Bella fell straight off her feet, landing on her back in a very animated fashion.

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If you don't know what I mean by "A very L like fashion" Google L from Death Note. Such a cutie.


	5. Little Yellow Demon

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humor. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**My baby girl, I love you for eternity! This is from none other than **_HappyKitty95_**! I adore her. I seriously reccomend you read her stories, she is simply amazing. She's like a firecracker in your mouth. Yeah, that good.**

**Original Quote: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.**

**My Quote: When life gives you lemons, throw them back. Demand awesome powers and become GOD. **

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"...The fuck?" Emmett Cullen, average, teenage, giant man-boy. "What do you lemons have against me?" Heyelled at the sky. Cause screaming was way too girly.

It all started.. actually, not too long ago. About a day ago, when a lemon fell out of a tree, no not a lemon tree like you think, but a fucking pine tree, and landed on his head.

Odd? He thought so. But being the BFG he is, Big Friendly Giant, he took it in stride and carried on life as normal.

"Why won't you leave me alone, damn it! Don't you know who you're dealing with? I am GOD! Your lemons are only fueling my super-effic powers, ha! I bet you didn't know that!" He yelled at that stupid sky.

"Yea, that's right! I'm way better than Superman! A stupid rock can't take me out! I'm better than Batman, because I don't need to mask my GODLY looks, note: GODLY!" Now, he was shaking an angry fist at the sky.

"You know what? I demand, you give me even better super powers, take my lemon fuel back. Obey me!"

...Crickets chirping.

"You dare defy me?"

Again, crickets.

Squeezing the lemon in his hand tightly, he launched the yellow demon in the sky, not taking note of which _direction_ he threw that little yellow demon.

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Until it came spiraling back to hit him in the head.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" He cried dramatically.

Snickering caught his attention, snapping his head forward, he saw Jasper standing there holding a video camera.

"This is _so_ going on America's Funniest Home Videos."


	6. Coma?

**This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humor. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.**

**.**

**Original Quote: "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?".**

**My Quote: "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?.. Like a coma."**

**In which, Paul thought he was getting lucky with Bella. **

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"Dude, shut up, she's here!"

"How do you know?"

"Can't you hear that beast of a truck?"

.. Silence ..

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR..

"Oh yeah, I hear it."

"Paul, you are such a retard."

"Permission to speak, almighty alpha?" Paul asked Jacob tauntingly. Jacob wasn't yet the alpha of their pack, but hell everyone knew he was the rightful one.

"Permission granted." Jacob spoke without missing a beat, an arrogant smirk upon his face.

"You're an asshole."

Wide eyes. Silence. Growling. Phasing.

"Why is Jacob a wolf-man inside?" Bella asked, her voice stripped of emotion clearly bored with this scene.

"Dude, anyone would think you've seen this a thousand times." Jared spoke up. "You're good with weird."

Bella flipped him off casually.

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As time passed, it dwindled down to only a few people, Bella and Paul to be exact.

"So, Bella.." Paul started casually. "Ever been with a wolf before?" Eyebrow raised.

Without moving her eyes from the TV screen, "Yes."

Eyebrows dropped.

"What? Seriously?" Confusion. "Jake?" Bella slowly turned to look at Paul.

"No, not Jake."

"SAM?"

"Guess again."

A minute passed. Two minutes. Five minutes.

"Me?" Paul asked hopefully, turning his sea green eyes onto her own hazel-brown.

Shifting from her comfortable position, she slowly crawled to Paul, tracing her finger along his arm, she bit her lip. "Why don't you slip into something.. more comfortable?" She asked in a husky voice.

Paul's eyes brows were raised, shock evident on his features but quickly regained his cool composition.

Meraz always won.

Bella stood up, heading toward the door, Paul followed her like a puppy. Turning sharply, she looked up at him.

"You do know I meant a coma, right?"

And that, my friends, is how little itty bitty human Bella, knocked a wolf out cold.


End file.
